family and addiction
“But I am not the one with the problem”
If you love someone who struggles with Addictive Behaviors, it probably has become your problem.
Addiction is a family disease. It affects the relationships of those close to the addict; parents, spouse, siblings, children long time friends , and employers. We who care the most suffer from the addict’s erratic behavior. We try to control and are ashamed of the scenes caused.”
Here are some questions to think about. Yes answers may indicate someone's addiction may have affecteted you.
Do you ﬁnd yourself making excuses, lying or covering up for someone?
Do you have a reason not to trust this person?
Is it becoming difﬁcult for you to believe his/her explanations?
Do you lie awake worrying about this person?
If it is your child, is he/she missing school often without your knowledge?
If it is your spouse, is he/she missing work and leaving bills to pile up?
Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship?
Are you asking yourself, “What’s wrong?” and “Is it my fault?”
Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?
Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you may ﬁnd?
Are you canceling your social functions with vague excuses?
Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO EXPLORE THIS MORE
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
It means, in part, that someone with addiction displays some of these characteristics:
Inability to consistently abstain; they try to stop or cut down, and cannot do so.
Impairment in Behavioral control; They often become distant from family and friends and their focus on the substance or activity becomes more and more important to them.
Craving; or increased “hunger” for drugs or rewarding experiences.
There may be legal, financial or relationship issues directly related to the substance use or activity, but the individual denies these problems.
HOW I CAN HELP
I have had many year’s experience working with those who struggle with addictive behaviors. I have gained knowledge, tools and compassion for doing this work and work hard to find the best fit of tools and resources to fit the individual. Every one is different and I believe that individual needs are important to this treatment.
A dysfunctional Emotional response. This has to do with the response in the brain as a result of the chemicals that either are ingested but also the chemicals that naturally occur in the brain connected to our emotional state, the highs and lows, so to speak.
Some of these tools include: Motivational Interviewing, Stages of change, SMART Recovery, information and principles from the 12 step programs, DBT, CBT and EMDR.