family and addiction
“But I am not the one with the problem”
If you love someone who struggles with Addictive Behaviors, it probably has become your problem.
Addiction is a family disease. It affects the relationships of those close to the addict; parents, spouse, siblings, children long time friends , and employers. We who care the most suffer from the addict’s erratic behavior. We try to control and are ashamed of the scenes caused.”
Here are some questions to think about. Yes answers may indicate someone's addiction may have affecteted you.
Do you find yourself making excuses, lying or covering up for someone?
Do you have a reason not to trust this person?
Is it becoming difficult for you to believe his/her explanations?
Do you lie awake worrying about this person?
If it is your child, is he/she missing school often without your knowledge?
If it is your spouse, is he/she missing work and leaving bills to pile up?
Are the unanswered questions causing hostility and undermining your relationship?
Are you asking yourself, “What’s wrong?” and “Is it my fault?”
Are normal family disagreements becoming hostile and violent?
Are your suspicions turning you into a detective and are you afraid of what you may find?
Are you canceling your social functions with vague excuses?
Are you becoming increasingly reluctant to invite friends to your home?
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO EXPLORE THIS MORE
TRAUMA
What is Trauma?
Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger, defines Trauma, in part, the following way:
“If we are overwhelmed by the threat and are unable to successfully defend ourselves, we can become stuck in survival mode…This highly aroused state is designed solely to enable short-term defensive actions but left untreated over time, it begins to form the symptoms of trauma. These symptoms can invade every aspect of our lives…”
You may be thinking, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I ‘get a grip’? “
THERE IS NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.
You have had a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.
Some symptoms you may be or have experienced include:
Hypervigilance restlessness agitation easily startled difficulty sleeping difficulty breathing tingling
increased heart rate sleeping nightmares intrusive memories racing thoughts mood swings
Most importantly…there is hope
I can help you work on decreasing these symptoms and regain a life where you feel hope after whatever situation(s) you have survived. I have the skills and willingness to work with you. Some of those skills are mindfulness, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), TFCBT (Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
ADDICTION
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
It means, in part, that someone with addiction displays some of these characteristics:
Inability to consistently abstain; they try to stop or cut down, and cannot do so.
Impairment in Behavioral control; They often become distant from family and friends and their focus on the substance or activity becomes more and more important to them.
Craving; or increased “hunger” for drugs or rewarding experiences.
There may be legal, financial or relationship issues directly related to the substance use or activity, but the individual denies these problems.
HOW I CAN HELP
I have had many year’s experience working with those who struggle with addictive behaviors. I have gained knowledge, tools, and compassion for doing this work and work hard to find the best fit of tools and resources to fit the individual. Every one is different and I believe that individual needs are important to this treatment. Therefore, different approaches and tools may be needed for different people at different times.
I currently work using primarily Internal Family Systems, though some other modalities are listed below.
Some of these modalities include Motivational Interviewing, Stages of change, SMART Recovery, information and principles from the 12 step programs, DBT, CBT and EMDR.
IF YOU THINK YOU NEED MORE THAN INDIVIDUAL THERAPY, MAYBE A GROUP WILL BE A BETTER FIT. OUTPATIENT GROUP AND INTENSTIVE OUTPATIENT PROGRAM ARE AVAILABLE.
(***CURRENTLY THESE GROUPS ARE NOT ACTIVE***)